Thursday, May 21, 2015

"Lost Boy." by Pam Uphoff

I took a look at my output the other day, and according to that, I'd only read two books in May. I knew THAT wasn't right. I checked further, and found I'd done some reviews on Amazon, but for various reasons, had not posted them on my blog. Here's one of them

I'm a Neanderthal. Nobody takes us seriously. The Geico commercials made fun of us and pretended to get caught. Ha ha. Big whoop. About 40 years ago, Asimov wrote a story about one of us, called 'The Ugly Little Boy,' and it made kids cry. Ha ha. We are ugly by your standards. You guys are so frippen pathetic about stuff like that. You spend more on cosmetics than you do on every kind of useful research combined. Idiots, every dang last one of you. I had to watch this stupid movie about a night at a museum, and the big joke there was that we would eat styrofoam peanuts. Idiots. One of the basic requirements for survival in a resource-poor environment is the ability to determine which items are nutrient rich; styrofoam peanuts, forsooth!
So, finally someone gets MOST of it right. It's about time. You people are so SLOW! And BORING! Did you never consider that the bones you found were of an old person with bad arthritis? That was Henry. He got lost on a field trip, must have smashed his commo gear somehow, and missed his treatments in the Autodoc. So, yeah, he was bent over, but that was a disease process, morons, not the way we usually look.
Eh, fagidaboudit.You lumps just keep doing what yer doing, and we'll try to keep you from stabbing yer dumb selves in the eye with the cutlery.

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