There Must Be Fifty Ways to Kill Your Planet

If you just want the abbreviated Amazon review, click here. 

However, if you don't read the rest of the blog post, you'll miss the song.

If you were looking for a post on our experience at the Steppenwolf concert, I haven't finished processing that one yet. It will come, I feel certain. Be patient. Or something.

For a guy who reads as much as I do, I often astound myself with my profound ignorance of certain aspects of modern culture. I haven't watched television in years, ditto with following sports teams. I don't listen to popular music, which I sometimes regret, as it means that I miss the nuances when Post-Modern Jukebox brings out a new song.

And, I haven't purchased a comic book since around 1964.

I do know that there were some plots developed, and I saw the original Superman and Spiderman and Batman movies, as well as a very few of slightly more recent films. I am utterly without a clue as to current plots, and I just don't want to watch any more Batman vs Superman, or Captain America vs Iron Man, or any of the other stuff. It's a deliberate choice; no one is advising me to do this.

HOWEVER!!!!

When I started to read "Time Loop," by Pam Uphoff, I was at first convinced that I had missed a delightful adventure series, which was being re-invented on my Kindle app. I even Googled the name of the main character (Dr. Sturm/Storm), only to find there wasn't much of a match-up with any of the characters in an existing story arc. Hating to show my ignorance, I even contacted the author, and asked if this was, in fact, a re-telling of a comic book series.

It isn't!

She just made it up, which makes it all that much better. Perhaps someone will read the book and make a series of graphic novels and movies and action figures; they certainly lend themselves to such treatment.

"No," she said, "these are really mine. I had fun coming up with different ways to destroy the Earth."

I suggested that I was tempted to do a riff on "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover;" her response was to point out that it wouldn't scan.

Challenge accepted.

"The problem is making it all scan," she said to me
"It's to hard to make a rhyme for killing off humanity."
"I accept the challenge," I responded to her with glee,
"There must be fifty ways to kill your planet."

You just SMOD attack, Jack 

Make the sun go crazy, Maizie

Just uplift a cat, Matt

And set off a spree.

Use a great big laser, Frazier

Just drop a big KEW, Lou,

Kill 'em off with a virus, Cyrus

And let grey goo free.

Now, Rhymin' Simon does it much better than that, but I'm taller.  And I believe it just might put a smile on the face of one or two of you who share a love of good music and good books.

Here's the balance of the review, and this is the part already int eh Amazon reviews:

I obtained this book through the Kindle Unlimited program.

Papa Pat Rambles contains additional material, including the lyrics to the song. At least, part of it.

Despite the plot and the super-hero names, "Time Loop" has nothing to do with a comic book series.

Semi-Mad Scientist Dr. Sturm shows up in a time machine, nestled into the airframe of a space shuttle, and attempts to stop the Earth from being destroyed. However, no matter how many times he kills off the people who appear to have the most to do with the destruction, when the clock rolls around to 2200 AD, everybody dies.

More or less by accident, he accumulates a crew. They replace the originals, who were also Semi-Mad Scientists who started the program of destruction deferral with him.

Interesting concept: Since the purpose of the travel is to have an effect on Earth, It is convenient to have the Earth be in roughly the same place, every time the ship makes a jump. This means it's a lot easier, and presumably more energy efficient, to catch up with the Earth at the same point in its' orbit around the sun. (The movement of the sun through the galaxy and the galaxy through the universe are mentioned as well, but they aren't really plot points.) That means that it's relatively easy to go from January 1, 2010, to January 1, 1950, for example, but not so easy to go from January 1 to July 1. 

Different positions in the orbit, right?

Here's how to deal with the Grandfather Paradox: HA HA HA HA HA! NOT TELLING!

Get this one, you won't regret it! 

Peace be on your household.