Thursday, February 25, 2016

An Incredibly Short Blog Post

(Why is my computer running so slow?)

I've got another post which I should be writing instead, but I'm not gonna do it right now because it's too painful.  I'll try it tomorrow, I promise I'll try it tomorrow.  I've owed it to you for almost a year.

This post is about the three rules.  Many years ago, it was suggested to me that every profession has three core rules  (thank you, Kay Burkalter, wherever you are).  Apparently, these were first proposed by a physician; I will relate them to you as they were related to me.

The three rules of medicine:
Rule one: air goes in and out.
Rule two: blood goes round and round.
Rules three: oxygen is good.

The three rules of emergency medicine:
Rule one: all bleeding eventually stops.
Rule two: everybody eventually dies.
Rules three: if you drop the baby, pick it up.

The three rules of counseling:
Rule one: everybody needs a hug sometimes.
Rule two: everybody needs to forgive sometimes.
Rules three: if they can't read your handwriting, it doesn't make any difference if they subpoena your notes.

The three rules of plumbers:
Rule one: it flows downhill.
Rule two: payday is Friday.
Rules three: don't never eat Kentucky fried chicken, because it might be finger lickin' good.

OK, that's it for this post.  I'll see you tomorrow.


  1. Emergency medicine for amateurs is based on the rule of Bs.

    Burning: If the patient is on fire or in danger of being on fire, put the fire out first.

    Breathing: If the patient is not breathing, do whatever is necessary to get air in.

    Bleeding Bad. If the patient is spurting blood, do whatever is necessary to keep the blood in.

    If none of the above is true your main job is to call for help and wait there to help them find the patient.

  2. The three rules of aging:

    #1 Let it go, 10 years from now you'll wish you looked this good

    #2 Membership has its privileges - ask for discounts

    #3 Laugh loud and long and often and you'll never be alone