I just spent half an hour with my gift-from-God, happily-ever-after trophy wife Vanessa, the elegant foxy praying black grandmother of Woodstock, GA, trying to figure out where I was today. I mean, I was HERE, and I did a FEW things, but what they were didn't seem to apply to reviewing books.
Accordingly, I have now the opportunity to cross-post some of my earlier Amazon reviews on here.
Both of these came from a conversation on Mad Genius Club about some of the SJW and literati silliness. I proposed to write a review written from the perspective of someone who totally missed the point, and Amanda volunteered (I think). I followed that up with a similar review for Pam Uphoff. These are, in my opinion, the funniest of my pseudo posts, but there are others. So, here they are:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A blisteringly erotic LGBT allegory,
October 28, 2014
By Pat Patterson
(Woodstock, Georgia, USA)
This review is from: Nocturnal Origins (Nocturnal Lives Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
We have come not to expect much in the way of enlightened literature from certain quarters who amusingly refer to themselves as writers, but with this latest tome, Ms. Green has shown herself to be at once deeply intuitive, wholeheartedly compassionate, and demonstrated a grasp of post-modern sensibilities that is ,simply..., breathtaking.
The shallow reader will stop at once with the surface meaning in Nocturnal Origins, and we must only suppose that they will find it a rah-rah thrill, as if anyone cares. However, the discerning will immediately note that Ms. Griffin has chosen the threadbare mythos of shape-shifters and were-wolves to produce a work of art, heartbreaking in scope, examining every aspect of a modern femme MacKenzie (note Mac= daughter of , Ken= wisdom, Zie=zoe =life!) who reaches past traditional roles and explores her newly discovered sexuality in the aftermath of a brutal rape (thinly disguised in the book as an attack by a 'were-wolf.' The opening scene of her transformation in the hands of the gentle sub Pat is both deeply emotionally moving, while simultaneously one of the finest, most subtle examples of Sapphic Erotica we have ever scene. We may even suggest we were compelled to take a brief moment to ourselves, at this point...
We simply MUST take note of the villain of the work a certain Samuel Wilcox in his screamingly hilarious double role as the sub in a S&M game, who provokes endlessly so that he may be punished as a bad, bad boy, as well as representing the phallus-superior culture ('will cocks = domination by rape; Ms. Green DOES love her little jokes!).
We trust Ms. Green represents the first of many of the aforementioned 'writers' who will henceforth spend less time with their rape-centric gun culture colleagues, and perhaps take tea with us?
and this is review for Pam Uphoff's Outcasts and Gods:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Crypto-rapist writers’ ideological basis exposed!
October 29, 2014
By Pat Patterson
(Woodstock, Georgia, USA)
This review is from: Outcasts and Gods (Wine of the Gods Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
That marginalized segment of so-called writers who specialize in exploding spaceships and heaving sweaty bosoms on maidens in distress has long denied any particular shared ideological basis for their work. We hear them nattering along about market-driven work, a pernicious falsehood exposed by their recent assault on the integrity of the Hugo Award. However, if they lack the proper ideology, or have no ideology, there is effectively no responsibility to the people to maintain appropriate decorum. And this has been what they have stated; that they have no ideology.
Recently, though, our attention has been drawn to one Pam Uphoff. A quick survey of her work might have left us with the (false) impression that she is one of those exploding-spaceship ink slingers. However, acting on a tip from a dear friend who Knows Such Things, we have read her novel ‘Outcasts and Gods,’ in which she rips the thin veil of deception from the crypto-rapist denial of ideology, and exposes that ideology as fascist, racist, and thoroughly bankrupt.
The ideology, denied by the crypto-rapists as their unifying principal, is that a woman’s role is to be limited to Kinder, Kuche, and Kirke, or Children, Kitchen, and Church. The serendipitous acronym in German identifies this ideology as being jointly developed by that most American of all racist organizations, the Ku Klux Klan, and by the National Socialist (Nazi) party in Germany. While the perfidious theory has largely vanished from public view, thanks to actions by progressive elements, we have ample evidence in both the actions and writings of reactionist writers, such as exposed by Ms.Uphoff. The chains of Kinder, Kuche, and Kirke, whether forged in Deutschland or in-bred Appalachia, have bound women in society as well as in so-called literature.
We most definitely do not wish to give away key elements of Ms. Uphoff’s plot, but we point out that she destroys the Kirke link in the title of this most delightful tome, and the Kinder link in the first chapter, where it is revealed that super-beings are being vat-grown, and some are raised collectively in a proper socialist environment. The final link in the chain of Kinder, Kucke, and Kirke is shattered by the development of a yeast product which can be modified to be both nutritious and tasty. In a brilliant exposition on the covert sexual orientation of the protagonist, Wolf, he and his fellows are eating a meal composed of tofu loaf and discussing plans for an anticipated leave.
"I still think people should say what they mean. Although they should also avoid give a sweet innocent like myself too big of a shock ." Wolf looked down at his empty tray. "Although I must say I appreciate the ability of your conversation to distract me from what was coming in my mouth." He got up and walked off. "Wait a minute, did Wolf just say what I think he said?" "Yeah, but did he intend to say it?" "It's scary to think that we might have finally succeeded in ruining the Nice Boy."
Uphoff, Pam (2014-01-09). Outcasts and Gods (Wine of the Gods) (p. 102). Iron Ax Press. Kindle Edition.