Glad To Be Crippled

Although everyone knows me as 'Pat' (or Papa Pat), my real first name is James. It comes from the Hebrew name Jacob. That's important to me.

I was not much at sports when I was a youth. At some point in the Army, though, that had changed. Basic Training at Ft. Jackson SC was so freaken awful in almost every way (I loved the weapons training, though), and it turned my flabby hippie muscles into rocks, and bulked me up from 150 to 165, which was stringy looking on my 6'2" frame. And I developed some coordination I hadn't before. I became a force to be reckoned with on the volleyball  court. It felt good. After the Army, a small church league of basketball and softball was a great outlet for me; I learned how to choke up on the bat, and I could always punch one through the hole between first and second for a base hit. Later, I picked up racquetball, and I was hooked.

Then came kids, and jobs, and graduate school, and by age 40, and my days as a player were over.
In my late 40's, I took up Tae Kwon Do. It did a great job of getting me back into shape, and while I wasn't nuts about the exercise part (which was the most valuable) I loved learning the routines and sparring. Emergency surgery in 2001 sidelined me for a few months, but I came back. I earned my black belt, on my second attempt, in 2002.

And then I started to hurt. I simply could not do some of the stretching exercises. There was one in particular, called the 'cobra stretch,' that just caused me excruciating pain in my back and neck. Turns out I had a problem in my cervical spine, and I had to go in and have C5, 6, and 7 fused. That was the end of karate; after I recovered, I tried to make it back on the mat, but the months of recuperation had taken my edge off; and, like a lot of people who quit after earning their Black, I drifted off.

But my back pain didn't stop; it just changed. The neck pain was gone, but my lower back started killing me. I had suffered from back spasms since I was 14, but this was new; this was debilitating. I couldn't walk a hundred yards without hurting so bad I had to stop, and bend over until the pain eased.

Cut to the chase: in May 2005, after months of tests that scared the heck out of me because it looked like I had cardiac problems, I was diagnosed with a hereditary disease called ankylosing spondylitis, It turns out I have Neanderthal ancestors, and one little bit, Human Leukocyte Antigen B27, is responsible for causing all kinds of auto-immune problems. There's no cure; the only treatment is pain management with anti-inflammatories and narcotics. And I happen to be one of those people who can't tolerate anti-inflammatory meds, so they offered me an array of drugs, until they got the pain under control.

But narcotics have their own side effects. The worst one for me was sleep disturbances. By 2007, it was not uncommon for me to be unable to sleep for four night in a row. I even had a term for the person I became at that point: Zombie Man. I was forced to take medical retirement from the school counseling job I loved. I was 54 years old.

My wife of (then) 29 years couldn't stand being around me in that state, and left. Three years later, when our youngest son graduated from high school, she filed for divorce.

So there I sat: 57 years old. No career. No family. Taking enough morphine daily to kill a horse. I was being supervised by my sons, one 27, the other 18. They made sure I ate something, and put a blanket over me when I fell asleep in my chair, and administered the sleep medications to me when a Zombie Man episode came.

And my mother, and my daughter, and a lady at church, each one separately begged me to promise that I would not kill myself. They all knew I'm a firearm accumulator, and they were afraid that, having endured so much loss, and being in pain, I would decide to end it all.

It was a promise I found very easy to make, and very easy to keep. There was one thing my mother and daughter and the sweet lady at church were not considering.

My name is Jacob; and I am a spiritual son of the Biblical Jacob.

There are quite a few people in the Bible that are not the sort that I would want my kids to hang out with. Jacob is one of those. He made a ripoff bargain with his brother, taking his birthright in exchange for some bean soup. Then he deceived his father (with his mother's help) and stole his older brother's blessing. And when the time approached for his brother to exact revenge, he ran away.
And he came into some good fortunes, and some bad fortune. The good fortune is that he found the woman he wanted to marry; the bad fortune is that his father-in-law gave him a different woman as a bride. And, when he was ready to go home at last, his father-in-law wouldn't let him leave, so he had to run away again. And the place he was running to? Right back into the hands of his brother Esau, who he was sure was still going to kill him.

And then something happened.

God shows up in the middle of the night, and He and Jacob get into a fight. They wrestle all night long, until dawn is breaking. And Jacob, the trickster, the guy who was tricked into marrying the wrong woman, will not give up. He hangs on in the fight, until God finally dislocates his leg.
And he still doesn't quit. And when God says He has to leave, Jacob tells Him:

I will not let You go until You bless me.

God then blesses Jacob, BUT: Jacob walks with a limp for the rest of his life. And with every painful, shuffling step he takes, he remembers that he held on to God, and that God blessed him for that.

Now, that bit right there is what my mother and daughter and the nice church lady weren't considering. My name is Jacob; and during those three years that I sat in my chair, I never once let go of God, and God never once let go of me. We didn't talk much; there wasn't a lot to say. I had been walking with God for a long time, and the lessons I had learned along the way were what allowed me to realize just Who it was holding me.

And just like Jacob, God blessed me. Three and half years after my wife left me, and half a year after the divorce was final, I met Vanessa. And eight months after that, after a long period of counseling and more wrestling with God, on both our parts, she became my gift-from-God, happily-ever-after trophy wife, the elegant, foxy, praying black grandmother of Woodstock, GA. I still have my biological children, and they get along great with Vanessa, and I inherited the seven children Vanessa had with her first husband, plus (at the time) four grandchildren, two of whom we are raising. And, in the five and a half years we've been married, I have gained two sons-in-law, two daughters-in-law, and six more grandchildren, with another due in February.

And I'm still crippled. I walk with difficulty, and I have to use a cane to get around. I am frequently in a great deal of pain. And it doesn't bother me. In fact, it's a comfort to me at times, because it always is a reminder that I have wrestled with God. And I never gave up, and neither did He.

Mysterion, and the Thought Police

If you want a good review of the book with a synopsis of each story, read the review by Mike Reeves-McMillan. This is more of a personal meditation/reflection.

I read a LOT of books, and review quite a few of them. Some time in the past few years, it was pointed out to me that a lot of the books I was reading for fun (such as 'The Chaplain's War,' Monster Hunter International' and others) were members of the LDS (Mormon) Church. I filed that under as 'Interesting Trivia' and thought no more about it. Then, in a tiny, small, insignificant part of the world, a miniature firestorm broke out, attacking rather successful author John C. Wright as a misogynist and homophobe because he had written of his adherence to the doctrines of his faith as a member of the Roman Catholic Church., And following that opening barrage came attacks on the Mormon writers because of their belief system.

I want this next point to be perfectly clear: the authors were not attacked because their writings consisted of an exposition of the unique aspects of their denomination, nor of the elements common to many different traditions. Their works were just a straight solid application of the good parts of science fiction and fantasy. Some of their characters were people of faith, others weren't, in most cases, it wasn't revealed.

Thus, it was not the works which were being attacked, and certainly not on the grounds of religious dogma. It was the AUTHORS who came under fire, solely for being adherents to a belief system.
And to even MORE clear in what I am saying: They were not attacked because of their BEHAVIOR. They were attacked because of their BELIEFS.

If that doesn't sound like the Thought Police of '1984' to you, you haven't read '1984' recently enough.

I have written about this a bit before ,  in the only three part post I have written, which I wrapped up with a post after the murders at the Bible study at Mother Emmanuel. 

Now, I don't have anything else to say on the topic of attacking a person for their beliefs. Except to say it again: my BELIEFS are my own, and are off-limits. My BEHAVIOR is subject to sanction, if it violates the rights of others. 
There. Done.

L. Jagi Lamplighter, praise be unto her, and Sabrina Chase, praise be unto her, kicked open my brain following my discovery of the concept of 'Noblebright' fantasy. I have a boxed set, which is just lovely, and a stupid great deal at $2.99. Here's the definition of Noblebright fantasy, from the book:

Noblebright fantasy characters have the courage to risk kindness, honesty, integrity, and love; to fight against their own flaws and the darkness of the world around them; and to find hope in a grim world. 

And with the vile bigotry against the Mormon and Catholic writers still fresh in my mind, and thinking about the stated belief systems of some other writers, who claim to adhere to worship of the Viking gods (or something like that; I wasn't paying close attention), and the hopeful optimism of Noblebright fresh in my mind, I wondered: how does a person's faith inform their writing?

I floated a trial balloon on Facebook, but in the areas I frequent, religion is off limits. Except cats. Worship of cats is expected. And quite often, cats do appear in the writings of their worshipers, acolytes, devotees, whatever we are. But that limited set of data points was somewhat unsatisfying.

And then, 'Mysterion' appeared in my kindle library. I don't recall getting it, but I'm reasonably sure it came from Scott Huggins, because I've reviewed his work before, and he's one of the authors in the collection. The book seems to me to be an excellent partial answer to my question, both in the editor's introductory comments, and in the works themselves.
It's only the sort of work a thinker writes. Somebody who has to cut the grass, change the baby diaper, and coach the soccer team is too physically involved to have much time to delve into the awe-inspiring (and by that I mean 'frightening').aspects of the inner life. For this, they may be truly thankful. The kind of stories written here often have a taste of the abyss looking back.

And it does look back, you know. Do you remember when you wee a kid, and learned that the universe goes on and on forever? You still haven't comprehended that; you have merely adapted to it. Remember that time when you had to lie on the ground and grab two handfuls of grass, because you might fall off the earth? Yeah. That was the abyss then. 'Mysterion' is a look into the infinite abyss NOW. 

Not all of the stories are terrifying. There are even some which are cute. Others are downright creepy. But they all are examples of how an author's faith MIGHT impact their writing. I say 'MIGHT" because I do not know anything about the faith of the writers, I only know their work. The editors point out that they did not ask for information about anyone's belief system, and that they do know that not everyone identifies as a Christian. So, I don't know if any particular story is made better or more insightful, because of the author's beliefs about Life, the Universe, and Everything.

All of the stories deal with some aspect of God which is mysterious. Actually, every aspect of God is mysterious: the most influential Jewish-Christian writer EVER says that we know of the Creator because of the creation; he is addressing the most fundamental mystery. I will tell you this: if you start thinking deeply about the nature of God, you BETTER have two handfuls of grass available. If you don't, you are sooner or later going to doubt your own existence, due to the lack of trustworthiness of your own senses. It's not something to fool around with.

But it is something to take seriously. Let me give just one example.

G. Scott Huggins, praise be unto him, writes of an intense existential struggle taking place on an island on a far off planet. The players are a young earth woman, who is on an academic field study, and two members of an intelligent reptiloid race, known as Shrii or Rii. (I imagine them as  velociraptors, but YMMV.)
Caansu, one of the Shrii is a Christian. Aiierra, the other, and Shoshannah, the human, are not. And, under the current circumstances, this means certain death for Caansu. The Shrii reproduce at a fixed time in the solar cycle, by ripping out the throat of another, harvesting the single gonad contained there. (It's a somewhat similar process to the reproduction cycle of the angler fish.) And Caansu has adopted a non-violent form of Christianity, and refuses to consider killing Aiierra.
This horrifies Shoshanna, who considers Caansu to be her friend. She brings up objection after objection to Caansu, who methodically shoots them down.

Why accept a religion not from your race? 

“No teachers of our people promise what Christ promises. If we know we sin, how can we but follow One who promises forgiveness? To shun true religion because it is not ‘ours’ would be as foolish as shunning true science because you Humans brought it to us.”

Donald S. Crankshaw; Kristin Janz. Mysterion: Rediscovering the Mysteries of the Christian Faith (Kindle Locations 3203-3204). Enigmatic Mirror Press. Kindle Edition. 

But it's your life!

"But it's our soul. Which is greater?" 

If enough of you become Christian, won't your whole race die?

Caansu had laughed. “Yes, and if there were no more hungry, we could not obey the Lord’s command to feed them. I think this is a problem we are unlikely to face.”

Donald S. Crankshaw; Kristin Janz. Mysterion: Rediscovering the Mysteries of the Christian Faith (Kindle Locations 3214-3215). Enigmatic Mirror Press. Kindle Edition. 

Throughout the story, the constant is THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP.  Aiierra contrasts her race's reproduction with that of humans, by saying that since it does not require death in order to make babies, humans must care very little for them. It's a good argument. Caansu makes Shoshannah face her condescending attitude toward the Shrii, in a powerful monologue about what the Prime Directive looks like from the other side. When Shoshannah protests, and states that she herself will kill Aiierra and thereby save Caansu, Caansu breaks into a towering rage at the insult she has been given: Shoshannah has treated Caansu's willing sacrifice with contempt. And the message that a thing which costs nothing is valued at nothing is driven home, again and again, throughout the rest of the story.

So, perhaps, this example of faith informing fiction is the most cogent statement possible. It's not Sunday School material for third-graders, nor is it the sort of thing that a sophomoric moron of any age would embrace, because it ends with meaning and not nothingness. I found it to be quite respectful. I also classify this story, and the others, as 'worthy of further meditation' rather than 'fun reading.' Everything isn't for everybody, but everything is for somebody.

Or so I'm told. 

Nothing has changed, Dr King, but it's all different.

I never met you, Dr. King. I met one of your sons in college, and been in a small seminar with your wife and your PhD advisor from Boston, but I was only 14 years old when you were assassinated.

That year, 1968, was the worst year our country has experienced in my lifetime. The Tet Offensive in Viet Nam; your assassination as well as that of Bobby Kennedy; the riots and burning cities; cops brawling with protesters in the streets of Chicago at the Democratic National Convention, as the crowds chant, "The whole world is watching, the whole world is watching." I'm glad you didn't have to see it.

In 1963, you said "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." In 2017, we have military drones that respond to remote operators to attack, and human drones that respond to Facebook posts and Twitter feeds to spew hatred and fear.

You also said in 1963 that you "dreamed of the day when your four little children will be judged by the content of their character, and not by the color of their skin."
We still dream of that day.

I will say this for our great country: we elected a black man for two terms as President; and there were no riots by white mobs, no marches on Washington to burn down the White House. Yes, there was plenty of resentment expressed, and many unkind things said and written, but there was a grudging realization that we were a better people today than we had been in the past.

And I thought we had learned something. But we didn't. At least, we didn't learn enough.
We selected, from the vast field of hopefuls put forth, the most divisive candidates for President in BOTH PARTIES.
The Democratic candidate said  "If you liked my predecessor, you're gonna love me because I'm a woman, and we've been oppressed longer than black people. Oh, yeah,  and I'll get rid of guns."
The Republican candidate said "You are stupid if you don't vote for me. Did you hate that guy and what he did? I'm gonna tear it all up and build a wall."
And we elected the Republican guy.

And the next day, it seemed that the divisiveness that had raged in 1968 was back, maybe worse than ever. In contrast to the LACK of a formal, organized opposition to the legitimacy of the current President, celebrities advocated a revolt by designated electors, urging them to vote against the candidate elected in their state. Protests sprouted across the nation; participants vowed the elected candidate was not now and never was going to be 'their' President.

Dr. King, last week one of your closest lieutenants, a hero of the civil rights movement and a 30 year member of the US Congress, stated on national TV that he was not going to attend the inauguration of a man he did not feel was a legitimate President.
Who then responded on Twitter by saying the Representative was a do-nothing Congressman from a decaying, crime-ridden district, all talk and no action.
At which point the entire internet exploded in defense of the Congressman. His constituents extolled the virtues of their district and his service to it; everyone else referenced his work with you. They never failed to cite the 1965 voting rights march in which he received a skull fracture on the Edmund Pettus Bridge at the hands of an Alabama State trooper.
And today, we  see that a county commissioner, from a different district in the Congressman's home state, used Facebook to refer to the Congressman as 'a racist pig.'
There are other outraged statements, on both sides.

"Our scientific power has outgrown our spiritual power." We have the ability to communicate to anyone in the world, instantly, at no cost, through the power of the Internet. We use that power to call each other names, to fling nasty, slashing cuts at people we don't like or disagree with.
Instead of COMMUNICATING, it seems that the most prominent feature of this scientific marvel is that it gives us additional excuses for outrage, and a platform we can use to scream our rage at the world.
We still have guided missiles, and misguided men. Nothing has changed, Dr. King.

On the other hand, it's all different. The law has done that for us, the laws you made happen.
At least, the law opened up a door to make it possible for change to take place.

When I was born, it would have been against the law for me to go to the same school as my wife; against the law for us to marry, against the law for us to choose to live anywhere we could afford. Those laws, and others that would separate us, are all wiped off the books.

Today, we live in peace in a quiet suburb, not too terribly far away from the Congressman's district or the house you lived in when you were born.
We are raising two beautiful children who are the same color as our current President. They attend good neighborhood schools, which are integrated and without racial conflict, and they have both black and white teachers to further their education and serve as role models.

We attend a lively, high-commitment local church, where the pastors and staff, the choir and congregation are black, white, Hispanic, and Asian. We are guests in each others' homes, and our children play together.

There are still problems, and sometimes I think we are so stupid that there is no hope for us. But then I look at my gift-from-God, happily-ever-after trophy wife Vanessa, the elegant, foxy, praying black grandmother of Woodstock, GA, and our happy and healthy children and grandchildren, white and black and mixed, and I think of how far we have come, and in large part thanks to you, Dr. King, we can join our hands together and sing:

FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I AM FREE AT LAST!

Happy Birthday!

Living By The Rules (when you don't want to)

A long time ago, some (hopefully) wise person told me about 'teachable moments.' Those are the times when some issue arises with your kid that really resembles a teeth-grinder. Instead of grinding, though, whoever this wise person was (and I really don't have a clue) says parents should embrace those times as a teachable moment.
I grew to rather hate teachable moments. Why? Because they were so great, I might have over-used them.
Ask my oldest son.
I'd find myself embracing a teachable moment with him (when he was an earl;y adolescent), and as I launched out on the teaching, he'd say "You're going to tell me about the time you got pushed out of the tree-house again, aren't you?"
I hated that. Smart-alec kid.
I probably came by the trait, at least in part, by observing my step-dad. Later, he described himself as the kind of guy who tells you how to build a watch, when what you asked was what time it was.
But I had another teachable moment this morning with 12 year old Kenneth, and it just seemed to go on and on and on....
We have a rule in the house which I established maybe 20+ years ago, as a desperation move when I was parenting two ADD children and a teen ager. The rule was: nothing gets signed in the morning. I remembered too many mornings as a kid, trying to get a parent signature while throwing on my coat, and it always produced conflict. I REFUSED to permit conflict in the morning with my kids, which extended to getting them up earlier so they could have peaceful time before getting on the bus, and it worked. It took extra effort, but ask my kids: they will all tell you that it was a very rare occasion when they were stressed out when they left the house. It is, I believe, one of my proudest accomplishments as a parent.
(Don't believe me? I'm gonna email my three biological kids, and ask them to respond in the comments section.)
But on THIS morning, Kenneth sheepishly came to me with a piece of paper in his hand and asked "Papa Pat, can you sign this syllabus for my Health class?"
To which I replied: "No, I can't."
And I didn't have to explain it to him; he knew why, and he also knew I don't back off on a rule like that, so he didn't argue. I reminded him to give it to me when he got home, and I told him to explain the house rule to his Health teacher, so that they would know he hadn't TOTALLY blown it off.
Now Kenneth didn't want to follow that rule, and frankly, I didn't either. But I held us to the standard, because it would work out better that way in the long run.
And shortly after that, I told him we would probably be able to resume his morning free time (from 7 AM, when Alicia Ann gets on the bus, until 8 AM, when he has to start getting ready) next week, because it looked like my sinus infection was improving; but that I had just been too sick this week to make it happen. And then I told him that it kind of amazed me that his mom, my gift-from-God, happily-ever-after trophy wife Vanessa, the elegant, foxy, praying black grandmother of Woodstock, GA, had been able to go to work this week with the cold that she had. And I closed by saying that that was part of being an adult: you did things, even when you didn't want to do them. Which is true.
And then I booted up the computer, and ate my Cheerios, and drank my coffee, and looked at my email.
And there were three emails waiting for me about gun sales, and one about a new You Tube video the Yankee Marshall had made on a firearms topic. I wanted to open them! But I can't. I have eight more days to go.
It's a rule I have to live by. One I made for myself, but I don't WANT the rule.
On the other hand, it is doing what it is supposed to do: the time I WAS spending reading about firearms and researching ammo, I'm now spending reading and reviewing and writing this blog. So, I'm okay.
Happy Friday the 13th. Wear red, if you can. RED = Remember Everyone Deployed, until they all come home.

Invisible Women in S-P-A-A-A-C-E!!!!

This is appearing as a blog post, and not a book review,  for two reasons:
1. I am reforming my blogging patterns, based on advice from experts. If I have something to say, I will blog it.
2. Ummm...I haven't actually READ it yet.

I HAVE however, read the most excellent and illuminating introduction by that powerhouse editor/writer, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, and it answers a question that has been bothering me for at least the past 10 years or so. And so, after getting the TRUE DIRT (!!!) on the subject, I decided I had to get this out of my system NOW, rather than trust my attention deficit disorder to bubble it to the surface at a later date. This is an issue for me, because I read books in AT LEAST two different locations, sometimes three, and rarely four. Right now, this is my upstairs bathroom book. I'm reading something else downstairs in the man cave, which is where I write my reviews. I don't know how long it will take me to FINISH WOMEN IN SP A A A C E !!! but I do know that the message is right now.
Okay, here's the question I have: Why does it seem today that the field of science fiction is sexist, when it DIDN'T feel that way earlier? I have been reading science fiction AT LEAST for 50 years. I stuck with it, because it seemed to me to be the literature of hopeful futures and escape from a dreary reality, and you just can't get there if you are systematically ignoring and repressing people. And yet, I have read a LOT of smart people who have said that the history of science fiction is replete with male dominance.
I'm reminded of the scene in "Miracle on 34th Street" where the clerk tells Santa Claus that he just found out he hated his mother. He observes sadly, "I never knew that. I always thought I loved her!"
Ummm...the field that helped me keep it together for so long was training me to be a gynophobe? Gee, I never knew that. I always thought I liked women.
But the people who have been saying that CAN'T all be wrong. It's impossible. There are some incredibly gifted people out there with legitimate issues, and so it would be ignorant not to see if there is some truth to the claim.
And that's what Rusch does in her introduction. And I'm going to let you in on the secret.
But you still have to buy the book.
Okay, FIRST of all, Rusch has had her own experiences of being trivialized and ignored, and has been witness to this happening to other women. Just to cite ONE example, she was editor of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction from 1991 - 1997, after Edward Ferman and before Gordan Gelder. Yet, when Locus magazine announced a new editor in January of 2015, and published a list of past F&SF editors, they left her name off the list. She is confident that it was a simple accident, and not a conspiracy, but still: she was the first female editor of one of the most prestigious titles, and she became a non-person. Just like that.
She had HAD ENOUGH!
So, she met with the utterly fabulous-in-every-way Toni Weisskopf, publisher of Baen, and pitched an anthology of the early ground-breaking women in science fiction, and this work is the result.
And what did she find? Why have women become non-persons?
Anthologies.
From the beginning (literally, we are talking Amazing Stories in 1928 here) women have been writing and editing science fiction, and getting lots of followers. And then, they vanished. WHY?
Simple answer follows; to get a more detailed answer, you have to read the book.
Even though their works were well received in the pages of the magazines, they were NOT featured in the 'Best Of' anthologies for the year. And people typically go to anthologies, rather than dig up the old tattered issues themselves.
And she documents the crap out of this abysmal fact, closely following the research done by Eric Leif Davin, which was published in 2006 . And if you want more information of THAT, you gotta read the book.
And if you want to know WHY they were left out of the anthologies; well, she has some ideas. But she deserves to have these presented in her words, not mine.
I've listed the Amazon link to the book at the top of the page; you can get it directly from Baen here. If you have EVER wondered why there is a flutter, and I think we all have, then the introduction is something you need to read. Then, read the stories, because they are good examples of the work women were doing Way Back Then. The story I am MOST familiar with is the oldest, a creepy little bit of creepiness called "Shambleau" by C. L. Moore.
After I read all of the stories, I WILL do a review, but the introduction packs the punch, as far as I'm concerned.
Enjoy!

Reading About Firearms is OFF LIMITS to Me

I love reading about firearms and ammunition and related topics. I have even made at least one blog post about the HiPoint 4595 carbine as an alternative to the shotgun as a home defense weapon. And yesterday, as the warm-up to my blog, I reviewed an excellent documentary by former footballer, current actor Vinnie Jones, and mildly lambasted him for an egregious firearms error.
And in doing so, I skated dangerously close to the edge of a promise I had made.

Background: My family and I are members of Liberty Church in Marietta, an independent evangelical church with a strong emphasis on racial reconciliation. It's the first TRULY multi-cultural civilian church I've been a member of in my life (I'm 63), although as far as I know I have never been to a church that had segregation as a formal position.
Interjection: I said 'civilian church.' When I was in the Army, (1972-1975) both the military chapel services and the off-base mission churches I attended were fully integrated. Being a Christian in the military sets one apart, and privates can converse with colonels with no problem. It's just different, and you have to experience it yourself to understand; or at least have some other similar context.
At any rate, ours is a high-commitment church. Nobody FORCES anyone to do anything, but the message of the church is that our beliefs are the center of our lives. It's not weird; we don't do snakes or have a dress code or restrict women. We have seven services on the weekend, and you pick the service that fits best with your schedule: Friday 6 PM. Saturday 5 PM & 7 PM, Sunday 8 AM, 10 AM, 12 Noon, and 6 PM. Within each service, you have the opportunity to join any of several different 'home groups,' reminiscent of the old Wesleyan 'class meetings,' where we eat, share, and study some topic we have chosen.

And it's a church where I feel utterly at home with my family. That's significant, because I am an old fat crippled redneck biker, and I am married to a black church lady, my gift-from-God, happily-ever-after trophy wife Vanessa, the elegant, foxy, praying black grandmother of Woodstock, GA. Nobody looks twice at us; I can hope that would be the case in any church I attended, but I'm not about to find out; I'm happy where we are.

So: high commitment church.

And, twice each year, the church observes a fast. In January, the fast is 21 days; In August, it's 7 days. The concept of fasting is not new to me; I used to observe the Lenten fast when I was in liturgical churches, but the method is new. In prior fasts, I would give up a particular food item, such as meat or sweets. The fasts at Liberty can include that, but most people observe some sort of media fast. Lots of people have found that Facebook can eat up all their free time, and they choose to give that up. Others give up TV, or all TV except football, or complaining; you get to pick what you want to give up.
And this is where I encountered a problem: I don't do anything. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I don't indulge in food (although you wouldn't know it to look at me). Since I am disabled and retired, I spend my day reading (and reviewing) and from time to time, I do watch something on Netflix, mostly documentaries, but I lapse into movies every once in a while. Until this past week, I didn't have transportation, so I wasn't going anywhere, either.
So, the time came around to make my choice, and I couldn't think of anything, therefore I asked Vanessa. To her, the answer was easy: give up guns.
WHAT?
Give up guns? Are you CRAZY? That's not even SAFE!
We negotiated. And I realized I had just been through an intense period of research, looking for a self-defense round suitable for a handgun, and I had spent several hours every day for at least a week, reading, watching testing videos, and contacting people in the industry, and I really enjoyed every second of it. It was an EASY trap for me to fall into.
You see, as far as I can tell, I have been given this period in my life to be a reader and reviewer. At one point, I thought I was going to apply myself to writing stories and books, but after a while, I realized that writing good reviews would have more impact than writing good books. So, that's what I do. EXCEPT that when I am happily and furiously consulting ballistic gel tests, and flipping through 'Cartridges of the World,' and reading promotional material, I'm NOT reading and reviewing books.
So I said: "Hmmm."
And here's what we came up with: I can still carry for self-defense, I can still go to the range and take people with me, I can still teach people who are learning (which is my daughters at this point). I can watch documentaries (or movies) that include some gun content, as long as the show's primary focus is on something else (like tough cops in the Vinnie Jones documentary).
I CAN'T read my gun magazines, research ammo, or watch Yankee Marshall videos. I can't drool over the catalogs and sales flyers, whether they are emailed or come in paper form. I can't follow up on guns for sale featured on the single Facebook page I follow that lists offerings.
I CAN (and have) ask my youngest son, who is also subscribed to the Aim Surplus offerings, to notify me if something astounding comes up. Since my wall is pretty full, it would have to be a spectacular offering, like a Sig for $200, but it could happen.
And that's something i can live with. I am voluntarily removing myself from something I enjoy, so as to have more time to do something I am called to do, which is read books and write reviews.
Except so many of my friends, bless them all, are also firearms accumulators and they will write a post, and without really thinking about it, I start to click on a link. GACK! I was reading Peter Grant's blog, Bayou Renaissance Man, so I could make a comment about "Stoke The Flames Higher":


(I haven't reviewed it yet) and I discover a link to an article about teachers and shotguns, and before I know it's treff, I click it. Several minutes later, agreeing with every point he has made, I realize I am off the reservation. GACK!

So, there is good news. Since I've been on the fast, I have been able to crank out several reviews that were owed since November. And, with 11 days to go, I'll be able to do several more.
But the bad news is, I won't be commenting on SHOT show, or any new toys, until it's old news. It's a self-imposed discipline, and I truly do hope to grow spiritually through the process, because I'd hate to think all this deprivation is wasted.

Vinnie Jones, I love you, but you are wrong

I hope a million people read this post and that it changes America.
Vinnie Jones is a British gentleman, who I believe is now living in America (Los Angeles, to be exact). He was a professional British footballer for 15 years, who has been very successful as an actor in many action & adventure films. Look him up; it's likely you will recognize him.
I'm watching a documentary on Netflix he made in 2008 called "Vinnie Jones' Toughest Cops". It's an excellent series for those who want to see what it's like fighting the worst situations in America, and it really doesn't pull any punches (but it does bleep obscenity). He visits prison inmates, and goes on ride-alongs with the SWAT teams. He even acts a spotter for fleeing felons, which conceivably places him at risk to life and limb (as well as his camera crew). Good show, watch it if you can.
However.
Vinnie knows very little about firearms. Some have said that this is customary for a British subject, since they have disarmed themselves, and boy, could I go on a rant about that. On the other hand, he MUST have some working knowledge of firearms, since he uses them in his films. He even shows his ability to rack a pump shotgun on the police range, and fires off a magazine of 5.56 using a police rifle with full-auto capability.
Quickly, let me get to the point at which Vinnie makes an egregious error:  On a police raid in New Orleans, the cops pick up a stash of firearms in the possession of a felon. One of the weapons impounded is a HiPoint 995, which is a 9 mm, semi-automatic carbine. A 'carbine' is a rifle which fires shorter, lower power pistol cartridges. 'Semi-automatic' means that with each pull of the trigger, the firearm will fire a round, eject the spent brass, and load a fresh round into the chamber, ready for firing. This is the most common type of action found in firearms owned and operated by civilians in the United States. '9 mm' describes the type of ammunition used by the firearm; it is an inexpensive round, with low recoil. As is the case with most pistol rounds, it's really not suitable for hunting game much bigger than a rabbit or squirrel, because it is so low-powered. It's just fine for self-defense or short-range target shooting.
So: are you with me so far? He has found a rifle which fires a mild mannered round, one at a time.
BUT:
He calls it a machine gun. He repeatedly calls it a machine gun, and makes a point of it being an awful and amazing thing to find in the hands of a citizen.
And WHY does he identify it as a machine gun? I expect it's because it's made of black plastic, and looks scary. Maybe also because it makes for good TV, ALTHOUGH (!) in my humble opinion, he is already MAKING good TV, and this error degrades the quality of the product.
In very quick laymen terms: A machine gun will fire continuously, as long as the trigger is pressed. That means that if you pull the trigger, and hold it back, a machine gun will fire every bullet in the magazine or belt, without stopping.
Are machine guns against the law?
NO. NO. A Thousand Times, NO! It is PERFECTLY legal to own a machine gun, as long as you have paid for the appropriate tax stamp, and pass the federal background check. The stamps are issued by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, and cost $200. There are usually another few fees, for photographs and finger prints, but the one-time $200 fee is all it costs to get the stamp. (I think there might be a dealer fee you have to pay as well.)
BUT THERE IS MORE TO THE STORY. In 1986, legislation ironically titled the 'Firearm Owners Protection Act' made it illegal to manufacture a fully automatic firearm for civilian use after that date. Therefore, the supply of these weapons is frozen, and the cost to purchase one has risen to the point that no average citizen can afford one.
Now, I could say a LOT more about firearms, but then the blog enter TLDR status. I do have a final point, and it is, in fact, the most significant thing I have to say.
Virtually all of the crime Vinnie was documenting had origins in the drug trade. Vinnie and the cops made that observation on numerous occasions, and it was particularly evident when he went to Laredo and visited the impound lot.
But never once did anyone make the statement that the situation closely resembled that during Prohibition. It does. Exactly.
The fights over turf are fights over who has the right to distribute narcotics in that area. Drug dealers are killed and robbed. Buyers are killed and robbed less frequently.
And thus far, NOBODY with any political weight seems willing to take the appropriate next step.
Legalize it. Regulate it. Tax it.
Provide treatment to those willing to kick the habit, paid for out of the proceeds.
And that's all I have to say about that.